Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
