Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
