Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
