Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize