O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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