i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
