Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
