his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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