We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I am mentally ready for anal.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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