weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just high enough for therapy.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
