the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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