i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
