CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
