she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
