Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
