what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize