We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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