You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
