I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
