you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I don't think brook has ever known best
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
