People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
