is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize