is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
