This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
