i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
