you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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