he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
did i just pee glitter
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
