We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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