i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize