and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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