Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
