That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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