Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
