so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
