No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
