Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
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