She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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