and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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