Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
