My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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