I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize