How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Dignity is for republicans.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
