I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
