When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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