try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
