Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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