i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
