was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
did i walk over a car last night?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
