how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
