i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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