I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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