then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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