id be glad to
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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