Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
