Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
