He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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