used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
