Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
