I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
