It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
whose parrot is this?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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