no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
