He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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