shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
